Tuesday, June 9, 2009

Epiphany

There comes a point in our lives where we go through an epiphany and realize that life is definitely too short. Throughout my past years I have always made sacrifices and compromised for people but I ask myself today has it really been worth it??And the answer is obviously no. I always thought I had so many friends and thought I had close to the perfect life, school was going well, I had my social life close 2 perfect my love life wasn’t so bad, my family was doing well and I mean I couldn’t have been happier. Ok, I got into 1st year university, and the lame school started proving me wrong. I always wanted to be successful; I just pictured myself going places, working in big companies and u know, being that independent woman just like my mum. My first semester was a disaster, I mean for the fact that i got into such a reputable school,  I thought I was an intelligent student but my grades weren’t what it used to be and then I started thinking if what I was studying was really for me. I mean I am not so much of a geek even though when I read, I read like one but I can’t jeopardize my social life because I want to be an engineer...Hell no! I started thinking of changing to economics but it’s like err time I tried to leave, something kept stopping me. I pulled through to 2nd semester and my grades were a lot better I guess the determination really kicked in. Well, life went well at first Io had a crush on several people and some lasted for days, minutes, weeks but there was one particular one that lasted 4 a very long time..Suddenly everything did not seems 2 go so well. My BFF girl and I kind of stopped talking and we just kept on having undertone beef I guess long distance is a bitch because I realize my friendship with her can never be the same no matter how hard I try to make it work. But I was glad because I thought I had other friends to lean on and had a best friend boy that I treasured so much yea...we had been friends for like forever since grade 8..and the story of how we became friends still amazes me because a week before we became best friends we were like enemies, he wanted 2 hit me because I punished his sister who today is like my little sis. Anyways, I lost my best friend; yea, even though I don’t admit that I miss him, I really do; he was that one person. You know how there’s just this one person u keep having fights with and all but still there’s this thing that just make u guys inseparable. Yea that was it but oh well, our friendship is over. I really can’t give details of why and I know some of you losers will be like hmm, she is writing this so he can come and apologise and all; well guess what fuck all of you. Yup I just said that. I really do not need him to apologise I mean its’ been like two month and I am over homeboy. I am just expressing myself, and all the people I was really close 2 and all at the end of last year/beginning of this year do not mean that much to me again and I realize I have few people I talk to which is actually so good because my mum always told me a man with many friends is a man with many problems. I realise how much my “friends” mean to me; they’ve always been there especially in my boy ‘wahala’ which I seem 2 be having so much of late. The boys won’t just stop coming. I mean, I know I am hot and all but let a sister rest small now haba...lol.  So yea, a lot of people have literally let me down in the past 5 months but I guess it only makes me stronger and I realise that when someone takes advantage of, or uses you, it really makes you stronger although it makes you shut your heart to others, it prevents you from getting hurt.