Tuesday, June 9, 2009

Epiphany

There comes a point in our lives where we go through an epiphany and realize that life is definitely too short. Throughout my past years I have always made sacrifices and compromised for people but I ask myself today has it really been worth it??And the answer is obviously no. I always thought I had so many friends and thought I had close to the perfect life, school was going well, I had my social life close 2 perfect my love life wasn’t so bad, my family was doing well and I mean I couldn’t have been happier. Ok, I got into 1st year university, and the lame school started proving me wrong. I always wanted to be successful; I just pictured myself going places, working in big companies and u know, being that independent woman just like my mum. My first semester was a disaster, I mean for the fact that i got into such a reputable school,  I thought I was an intelligent student but my grades weren’t what it used to be and then I started thinking if what I was studying was really for me. I mean I am not so much of a geek even though when I read, I read like one but I can’t jeopardize my social life because I want to be an engineer...Hell no! I started thinking of changing to economics but it’s like err time I tried to leave, something kept stopping me. I pulled through to 2nd semester and my grades were a lot better I guess the determination really kicked in. Well, life went well at first Io had a crush on several people and some lasted for days, minutes, weeks but there was one particular one that lasted 4 a very long time..Suddenly everything did not seems 2 go so well. My BFF girl and I kind of stopped talking and we just kept on having undertone beef I guess long distance is a bitch because I realize my friendship with her can never be the same no matter how hard I try to make it work. But I was glad because I thought I had other friends to lean on and had a best friend boy that I treasured so much yea...we had been friends for like forever since grade 8..and the story of how we became friends still amazes me because a week before we became best friends we were like enemies, he wanted 2 hit me because I punished his sister who today is like my little sis. Anyways, I lost my best friend; yea, even though I don’t admit that I miss him, I really do; he was that one person. You know how there’s just this one person u keep having fights with and all but still there’s this thing that just make u guys inseparable. Yea that was it but oh well, our friendship is over. I really can’t give details of why and I know some of you losers will be like hmm, she is writing this so he can come and apologise and all; well guess what fuck all of you. Yup I just said that. I really do not need him to apologise I mean its’ been like two month and I am over homeboy. I am just expressing myself, and all the people I was really close 2 and all at the end of last year/beginning of this year do not mean that much to me again and I realize I have few people I talk to which is actually so good because my mum always told me a man with many friends is a man with many problems. I realise how much my “friends” mean to me; they’ve always been there especially in my boy ‘wahala’ which I seem 2 be having so much of late. The boys won’t just stop coming. I mean, I know I am hot and all but let a sister rest small now haba...lol.  So yea, a lot of people have literally let me down in the past 5 months but I guess it only makes me stronger and I realise that when someone takes advantage of, or uses you, it really makes you stronger although it makes you shut your heart to others, it prevents you from getting hurt.

 

5 comments:

  1. I have heard that First year is usually a bitch like that...Its the most difficult but once you get through it you are good. Its basically survival of the fittest out there.

    May I suggest that you paragraph next post. Its easier to read.

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  2. Welcome to blogsville. At least now you know who your friends are. Like kanye west say na na na that don't kill me, can only make me stronger.

    You will be okay :)

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  3. "A man with many friends is a man with many problems."
    Welcome!
    Your mama is SO right!
    Good thing I learnt that early!
    Good thing you've learnt too!
    :D

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  4. Friends.. A necessary evil in so many ways..

    Welcome..!!

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